I dedicate tonight’s blog post to a topic I still deal with-Acceptance and low self-esteem.
Everyone wants to feel wanted, and accepted. The most beautiful super model, the exceptional musician, the star athlete – everyone wants to be accepted. It’s the reason why so many of us alter some physical attribute about ourselves. It’s the reason why the most respectful child begins acting out, why people bend their beliefs and compromise their faith -to be accepted. Before I married Phillip, my biggest fear was that I would grow old and die alone. I didn’t accept that I was enough. I couldn’t stand the quiet, the deafening silence that caused me to face myself. I was a people pleaser. I wanted everyone to like me and include me to the point that I freely gave myself in many toxic relationships. I knew who God was and I believed He was with me, but my faith wasn’t solid enough to put my trust in him and allow his love for me to be enough. I started to sabotage the good relationships I did have because I had allowed myself to be used in so many bad ones.
How did I allow myself to get to this place? I didn’t know the truth. I didn’t know the truths about myself that were right in the word of God. The lie I believed was that I wasn’t worthy of real, genuine, unconditional love. I believed that I was only worth meaningless, draining relationships in which I gave and gave, but never received anything in return.
I’ve grown since then, and thank God for growth! Life becomes simpler when you know the truth. Ephesians 2:10 says this : “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance as our way of life.” That first part alone gives me so much confidence-I AM GOD’s WORKMANSHIP. He skilfully crafted my very being and he made no mistakes in my creation!
My husband is an amazing cook. Everything he whips up could easily be a hit in a 5 star restaurant – especially his steaks. I have a terrible habit that he can’t stand as a cook: I season food before even tasting it! Ha! He hates it! It’s actually an insult to the chef (I didn’t know, I just love my condiments!) to add season to a prepared meal without even tasting to see its needed! He usually says, “Try it first, you may not need any sauce.” To a condiment lover like myself, this is unheard of!! A plain piece of steak? That’s insane!! But to my husband, the message I’m relaying is,”You don’t trust that I thought enough of you to season the steak just the way you like it, and you don’t think I’m a skilled enough cook to prepare meals that are seasoned enough.” What are we saying to God when we don’t accept that we’re enough? He’s saying to us, “Everything you need I’ve already placed inside of you.” According to the verse I shared earlier, we’re created in Christ Jesus. That’s all the sauce we need people! I had to learn it too. Then it says we were created to do good words that God prepared for us in advance as a way of life. For anybody trying to find the right career or seeking God’s will for their life, that last part is crucial. Not only did God skilfully create me, but He prepared work me in advance and it’s going to be my way of life! Think about the things that you’re drawn to, the things you get fulfillment out of, the things you do often, but often don’t get paid to do. These are your good works! This is your way of life! Not anything extra you try to add to your life to be accepted, but the things that already came with your package! So don’t insult the Creator by trying to alter who you are. There’s no one else like you on this entire planet! You are God’s work of art! After reading tonight’s blog, listen to “Imagine Me” by Kirk Franklin. Hope it blesses you.